This tooth of truth

Thursday, June 17, 2004

I'm overwhelmed. I have way too much on my plate and I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I decided to take 4 summer classes and do an internship on a leave of absence. Things have been absolutely insane, I don't feel rested at all. But I do feel pretty much productive.

It's the one year anniversary of dad's diagnosis on the 19th. They're on their way to Florida to be there for Jack's first birthday. I hate that Kati and Dave moved to Florida - now even more so since Jack was born. It kills me that he's turning 1 and I won't be there for his birthday. Kati and Jack are coming up July 12, so we're going to have a party then. No one has said anything about it being a year since the diagnosis. I wonder if anyone will. Looking back on this past year astonishes me. So much has happened.

I started school, and am almost finished. I finally got the hell out of CIP and went to Habitat, only to get an internship and hopefully a job at 3M - right in the middle of layoffs. I had my third knee surgery and all four wisdom teeth pulled. Dad was diagnosed with cancer. Twice. I started therapy again. I bought a new car and a computer - 2 out of the 3 things on my list. I'll get a bike next summer. I gave my mom my car. Tonya and Missy talked about Tonya moving out in a year - Missy and I have already started plans for the house when that happens. Missy turns 30. Missy's aunt was diagnosed with cancer. Missy and I have gone through so much together. I've thought I could move out, and I'm glad that thought was just in passing. I have such high hopes that all this shit that I'm putting myself through, and the shit that I'm going through that is not of my own doing, will benefit me and I will take lessons from each of those experiences. I just hope I'm not being too idealistic. Too late to turn back.

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